17 www.CharlestonWomenPodcast.com | www.ReadCW.com | www.Instagram.com/CharlestonWomen Being a mother is hard, sacred work. The physical, mental and emotional requirements of bringing another human into this world and supporting them through all of life’s stages is undoubtedly one of life’s biggest, albeit most rewarding challenges. Mothers need an immense amount of personal grit, strength and determination to push through for their children and families day-in and day-out to carry the mental load. Partners, family, friends, support systems and community are integral in the journey of motherhood. For many, the support of other mothers is a major source of strength and resilience. These relationships can be healthy and solid forms of community, providing a much-needed distraction and source of life in the sometimes mundane and difficult daily grind of childrearing. And a big part of these relationships and social gatherings for moms is alcohol. Whether an excuse to get out of the house and gather with friends or a late afternoon play date that turns into a cocktail hour, many mothers turn to alcohol to anchor their social gatherings — and as a result — find relief and solace at the bottom of a bottle. And we know this is the case, from our own experiences and from the world around us marketed in the form of TV commercials, Christmas ornaments, dish towels, cocktail napkins, countless reels and memes. The pandemic only escalated this mentality with many parents, mothers in particular, rising to the challenge by stocking their wine coolers and considering every hour “wine o’clock.” We’ve grown so accustomed to this “cute” cultural phenomenon that we hardly notice, much less ask questions about the true meaning behind any of it, as well as any potential impacts on our children. Even mild intoxication is associated with lapses in judgement, impatience, hostility and exhaustion. And what of the memes suggesting that it’s the children themselves driving us to turn to alcohol? Even as a joke, the “you drive me to drink” concept is an unhealthy message for a child to internalize. It would behoove all of us to take a step back and ask ourselves some tough questions. This time of year, it’s helpful to pause, to take the time for self-reflection and to be open to assess if change is needed. Starting by noting room for improvement or even a radical realignment of habits, behaviors and priorities is key. As a starting point, here are some questions to ask yourself, borrowed from Alcoholics Anonymous: 1. Do you lose time from work due to drinking? 2. Is drinking making your home life unhappy? 3. Is drinking affecting your reputation? 4. Have you felt remorse after drinking? 5. Do you crave a drink at a definite time daily? 6. Do you want a drink the next morning? 7. Do you drink alone? 8. Have you ever had a complete loss of memory as a result of drinking? 9. Is drinking jeopardizing your job, business or the wellbeing of your children? 10. Have you ever been to a hospital or institution on account of your drinking? According to AA, “If you have answered YES to three or more of these questions, you have a definite problem with alcohol.” Mother Knows Better Alcoholic mom culture BY EMILY MOODY Charleston Women in Wellness
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